Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Helpless

I’ve never done this on a blog before, but I really feel helpless. I’m sorry if I am difficult to read tonight, but it’s late, I’m very tired and I feel completely off course.

On Saturday, I received a call from my Mom, which I missed because we were out. When I got home, I listened to her cheerful voice on the answering machine and decided I’d call back on Sunday evening (early afternoon EST Canada). I did. When my Mom picked up the phone, I knew something was wrong and she was in BIG pain. Her neck was hurting. At first I thought: A stiff neck. Then she told me that she fell and couldn’t remember a thing. Obviously, she hit her head when falling. I was very worried and told her to call my best friend, who happens to a) be a very close friend of my Mom’s as well, and 2) lives two minutes from her by car. “I don’t know” she said. “She has a life of her own. I don’t want to bother her.” My reply was: “Then I’ll call her. Keep the phone close by. I’ll let you know. ” I did call Chris. She wasn’t home, but her husband was, and I left the message for her to call or go by and see after my Mom’s condition ASAP. As soon as she got home, she called my Mom and told her to get dressed right away. When Chris got there, she knew immediately that my Mom needed care and took her to the emergency. And not too late, for that matter! She was x-rayed and scanned, and the docs discovered that she had broken her C2 (cervical 2) vertebrae! Luckily, her nerves were not injured or damaged, so no sign of paralysis. But imagine if she had "slept" another night with that injury.

She was immediately transferred to Ottawa and she’s doing ok. I called the hospital tonight (and my call was transferred about 15 times before I got to the nurse in charge. Stupid receptionnists!). She’s wearing a halo traction to keep her from moving her head and I’m sure it’s not the nicest thing to wear, but when I spoke to the nurse, she was talking to my mum and she (my mum) said: “Tell her I look like an angel. I’m wearing a halo.” And I cried. I didn’t know if it was out of sorrow, or her sense of humour.

She’s doing ok, now, but….Damn! I feel helpless! I'm so far away! And I’m terrified.

***UPDATE***

First of all, I want to thank all of you for your thoughts, prayers and recovery wishes for my Mom.

I haven't had a chance to talk to her personally yet, because a) her phone is not yet been installed in her room and B) because she's still in that halo traction harness, but she's doing pretty well and her mood is good, (considering the pain and that very uncomfortable position). The last I've hear is that she will now undergo a number of tests incl. cardiograms and they now think that she suffered a small heart attack, which caused her fall. She does have a heart condition (valve and two bypasses), so it is a possibility. I'll keep you in the loop.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mom knows that you are far away,but she also knows that you love her and that gives her the strenght to get well again.D

CanadianSwiss said...

Thanks for the support, Dad. Still, I'm terrified, but I hope you're right.

Ex-Shammickite said...

Thank goodness you phoned your friend and she was able to take charge of the situation. No use to say "Don't worry" cos I know you will, but your mum is in the right place now with lots of medical care and expertise looking after her, and her remark about the halo tells me that she's feeling OK.

traveller one said...

You're both in my prayers today.

My mom in NS had surgery yesterday and I know exactly how you feel... helpless, and much too far away.

CanadianSwiss said...

Ex-Shammi: Thank you. I just wish I could be with her.

T1: I hope that your mom is recovering well. Thank you for your thoughts.

Jul said...

CS, my heart goes out to you and your mom. I understand how helpless and scary it can be to be so far away sometimes. Best wishes for her speedy recovery!

Michael said...

I'm sorry to hear about your Mom...I know how difficult it is when you're not near by and you want to be right next door!

Big Bear said...

Distance in miles means not distance in hearts and I bet your mom and you feel that. You might feel as helpless even if you are standing next to her. But you should not feel so helpless, because I am sure that your love for your mom means a lot to her and gives her strength in this situation. If you are loved by someone, you are never alone.

Eva said...

I'm really sorry to hear about your mum, it's horrible not to be close for things like this but I'm sure she knows you're thinking of her....I'll keep my fingers crossed everything goes well!

CanadianSwiss said...

Thank you all for your kind wishes. Of course, I'd feel just as helpless there, but the distance makes me feel just a little bit more helpless.

christina said...

(I thought I left a comment here earlier but I guess it got eaten)

I've been thinking of you and your family all day and wondering how your mom is. I know what that helpless feeling is like since my parents have also had a few close calls.

CanadianSwiss said...

LOL. Another victim of blogger's endless appetite! :)

Thanks for your thoughts, Christina. She's okay (in her harness), but she has to undergo a few tests. I'll put up an update. Yes, I recall your last one was when your Dad slipped on ice the winter before last, right.

Alicia said...

My best wishes for a quick recovery.
:)

Global Librarian said...

I hope she recovers soon.

Both of my parents have heart conditions and that fact weighed on me while we were deciding whether or not to move here.

At least I have 4 siblings within an hour of my parents. I cannot imagine not having that to fall back on...

When are you moving to Canada?

tinakala said...

OMG. Glad that you did call her that evening. Hope she gets well soon.

CanadianSwiss said...

Alicia: Thank you and hope to see you 'round again :)

GL: My brother lives about an hour's drive from her, which is also pretty close, but I wanted someone there REAL fast. Canada has been postponed to probably end of this year. *sigh*

Tinakala: Me too. Thanks. :)

Expat Traveler said...

glad you wrote it, so much support! =) and wow - that's not good but at least she sounds like she is in great hands!

Jay said...

Oh lordy, I'm relieved to hear that your mother is ultimately okay. That's scary, I understand how crummy it must be for you to be away.

Let's just say thank goodness for good friends like that - that's a special thing in this life.

CanadianSwiss said...

ET: Yes, she's been to that hospital quite a few times, and has always had excellent care, which is alway comforting to know.

Jay: You are absolutely right about that. Some say that if you can count real friends on the fingers of one hand, you are a very lucky person. I am very lucky.

ritadaphné said...

Contente ce soir d'avoir des nouvelles de ta maman. Courage et tiens nous au courant.
Ritabisous.

Ginnie said...

Oh, CS. I wish I had read this before I sent you my g-mail earlier. Please know that my heart aches for you, knowing the helplessness of distance. In the end, we all grow stronger by these trials, finding out what's really important to us. Thank you so much for trusting us enough to let us help carry your burden. I love you!

Shelli said...

Oh, hun, I'm sorry that I missed this somehow. I will think of your mother as often as I can and wish for her recovery. Hugs...

CanadianSwiss said...

Ritadaphné: Merci. Je n'ai pas d'autre choix que d'attendre et d'espérer que tout se passera bien.

Ginnie: Thank you, my friend. Your words mean a lot to me. XOX

Shelli: Thank you so much. :)

JOSE SANCHEZ ZOLLIKER said...

I dont comment often, but I will this time. I understand you feelling helpless. Its a terrible feeling. I felt it sometime too. But you are also lucky to have a good friend that lives nearby. And that, makes you less helpless, and a fortunate person. Anyway, I hope your mom gets better and that no little heart attack happened at all. My best wishes!