Sunday, March 07, 2010

How do you mend a broken heart?

I've been wanting to make this announcement a few weeks ago already, but I was still too confused, angry and hurt. It would have been a very ugly post.

I hope you're sitting.

*Taking a very deep breath* Orange-X and I are splitting up. Yes, you read that correctly.

Although we've never mentioned it on the blog, we have been going through a roller coaster these past few years. Me leaving my job in 2006, the burn out following that, not being totally happy in my new job, our return to Canada being postponed because of O-X's ex-wife being diagnosed with terminal cancer and his daughter still having to finish her studies, etc. However, I truly had the feeling that things had improved a lot in the past 6-9 months in 2009. But then, I was really sure that all was going to be okay when O-X went through all that trouble with the video and asked me to marry him.

I was obviously wrong. Six weeks after the proposal, he announced that he was leaving me. I was shocked. I can't understand it. Still not. It's very difficult for me to post this news and I am still shattered after four weeks of knowing that he has taken this decision, but I'm slowly picking myself up again.

I've booked myself a flight to Canada and will be spending two weeks during the Easter break with my family and friends. I'll also be looking at job opportunities there, and hopefully can go back before the end of the year and start a new life there.

In the meantime, we are still sharing the apartment until I return from Canada and know more. No use in me taking a new apartment here for a few months only. I'd have to buy a whole lot of stuff, not to mention electric appliances that would be useless in North America. It's not always easy, but O-X tries to go to Holland every second weekend, so that we are not too much in each other's way.

These past four weeks have been hell. I still don't know what hit me, but I'll get through it. I have to focus on my future and look after myself, now. Easier said than done, but I'll manage.... Right?