Sunday, March 07, 2010

How do you mend a broken heart?

I've been wanting to make this announcement a few weeks ago already, but I was still too confused, angry and hurt. It would have been a very ugly post.

I hope you're sitting.

*Taking a very deep breath* Orange-X and I are splitting up. Yes, you read that correctly.

Although we've never mentioned it on the blog, we have been going through a roller coaster these past few years. Me leaving my job in 2006, the burn out following that, not being totally happy in my new job, our return to Canada being postponed because of O-X's ex-wife being diagnosed with terminal cancer and his daughter still having to finish her studies, etc. However, I truly had the feeling that things had improved a lot in the past 6-9 months in 2009. But then, I was really sure that all was going to be okay when O-X went through all that trouble with the video and asked me to marry him.

I was obviously wrong. Six weeks after the proposal, he announced that he was leaving me. I was shocked. I can't understand it. Still not. It's very difficult for me to post this news and I am still shattered after four weeks of knowing that he has taken this decision, but I'm slowly picking myself up again.

I've booked myself a flight to Canada and will be spending two weeks during the Easter break with my family and friends. I'll also be looking at job opportunities there, and hopefully can go back before the end of the year and start a new life there.

In the meantime, we are still sharing the apartment until I return from Canada and know more. No use in me taking a new apartment here for a few months only. I'd have to buy a whole lot of stuff, not to mention electric appliances that would be useless in North America. It's not always easy, but O-X tries to go to Holland every second weekend, so that we are not too much in each other's way.

These past four weeks have been hell. I still don't know what hit me, but I'll get through it. I have to focus on my future and look after myself, now. Easier said than done, but I'll manage.... Right?


Global Librarian said...

So, so sorry. I'll be thinking of you and hoping you find something in Canada soon.

CanadianSwiss said...

Thanks, GL.

Ginnie said...

Ohhhhhh, Sandra. More in private.....but my heart breaks for you.

Xmichra said...

*CRIES*!!! I am so sorry to hear that!!! Where will you be in Canada/?? I would come see you If I could :( I feel for you :(

CanadianSwiss said...

Ginnie: Thanks so much for your e-mail. I think there is a lot of truth in what you wrote. I'll write back soon xox

Xmich: It hurts, but I'm getting up the hill again. I'll be fine, sweetie. Thanks for being there. I'll be at my Dad's. He lives between Montreal and Ottawa. BTW, do you Skype?

Shammickite said...

CS: I have never met you personally, but we have exchanged blog posts for so long that I feel we know a little bit about each other's lives. Your previous post was so deliriously happy, and I was so delighted to hear your good news! And now you are so downhearted. I want to give you a big hug. Not that a big hug would make any difference. But just know that I am thinking of you. Everything happens for a reason. The reason may not be obvious right away. Turning points in our lives are often painful and hard to negotiate, but often we start a new journey with heartbreak and sorrow, and it turns out to be one of the best moves we ever made!
Hugs to you.

Anonymous said...

Hi Sandra
Eventhough we have had lots of coffee talks by now about it;) -it is so sad to see it written -we are thinking of you both.
You are wonderful, strong, lovely. How to mend a broken heart? - not sure but I am sure your trials will bring you to your reward in the end.
Hugs, kisses, and sleep without Dale-cat interuptions;)

CanadianSwiss said...

Sham: Thanks so much for your thougths. Yes, I also believe that things happen for a reason, and this may just be my turning point. And it's starting to show with every day that passes :)

Di: Thanks for being there for me and for all the pep talks. You have been my life-saver these past few weeks.xox

PS: Dale is still loud, but now I can at lease close the door ;)

Expat Traveler said...

Since I already knew this news, I still feel so heartbroken myself on the news... Time is our only way of healing and I know you will pick yourself up, have fun with your friends and family and think about you and your future!

You know I'm here for you!!!

swenglishexpat said...

Devastating news. I am so sorry for you. A long time ago I went through a very similar situation so I think I know the emotional storm in you. It hurts. BUT, step by step you will get through it, just try to focus your mind on your "future life", what lies there beyond the horizon. Just believe in yourself and hold your head high. All I can offer you is a blogger-friendly hug.

CanadianSwiss said...

ET: Yes, I know. I'm really looking forward to being with my family and friends. Thanks for being there :)

Swenglish: I'm already working hard on it. I'm taking it one day at a time and it is already going better. Thanks for the blogger-hug :-)

Shelli said...

I'm sorry.


Orange-X said...

You are managing very well. I am sorry for hurting you, but I've seen you progress every day. You look better and better and fortunately we can look forward. I cannot predict what will happen, but I want you to know that I think you're doing really well Poppie. I am proud of you.

...ESP... said...

CS - We are so sorry to hear this terrible news. Take one day at a time and take alot of deep breaths. You are an extremely strong woman and you will get thru this and move on to the wonderful life that is waiting for you in Canada!!!! Please take care of yourself and remember there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

CanadianSwiss said...

Thanks to all for your kind thoughts and supporting words. You are great! :-)

OX: I know it's not easy for both of us right now, but we'll manage. I'm just looking forward to going home and sorting out my future.

Shammickite said...

CS: I was happy to see your comment on my blog recently.... and to know you are making moves to return to Canada and resume a somewhat normal life. Hooray for you! Life goes on, in spite of disappointments and heartache, and sometimes those disappintments hgappen for a reason and life improves. Just wait and see. Hugs to you!

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Richard Jones said...

Your blog was great, I'm sorry your stint in Switzerland is over, doubly sorry for your heartbreak :-(.
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Click here for information on life in Basel!